Where We Left Off
by Magnus Glitter Bane Alec
Summary: Two people destined to meet. One is a player and the other is just broken and alone. But they both have something in common. They both dream dreams they can't explain. Dreams of love and pain that they barely remember in the morning. They dream of what was. And then they meet. And the dreams become clear. Two people destined to meet. Destined to love. Destined to live. -You And I
1. Chapter 1

_So I know I'm kinda just starting lots of stories right not but I swear this is the last one. I was told the idea and just had to do it. Hope this was as good as you imagined it. But anyway it will only have five to ten chapters and it is kind of tied to the Fine lifetime from You and I so please read that if you haven't or you may get confused. This story is their next reincarnation after that lifetime. Hope it's good and you'll like it._

A black haired boy walked out of his room while scratching the back of his head and with eyes barely open. Walking into more than a few things as he did because he is still not fully awake. When he finally did open his eyes though they ended up being drawn to the couch, or better said a black haired boy who was sleeping on it.

Seeing the boy in his house didn't make Magnus feel startled in the least though. Seeing him he smiled, feeling affection towards the boy. His best friend. That's who he was. He was his best friend. He forgot the fact for a second there but now he's okay again. It's just Alec.

"Hey sleepy head." His deep voice boomed through the room, startling the other awake and Magnus watched him sit up, looking around disoriented before seeing him and finally relaxing and falling back down onto the couch with a soft groan. "Dad causing troubles again?" Magnus asked as he walked towards the kitchen instead of just standing there. He should really go make some coffee after all. Alec looks like he needs it.

That was the only reason why they kept coffee in the house in the first place. His mom doesn't drink it and he doesn't either so there really is no need to keep it. But as it is Alec drinks it so that's why they do. It's like he lives there anyway so why not keep things just for him. He's his best friend after all.

"Yes." The blue eyed one answered after a minute, still trying to keep awake considering he managed to only get about four hours of shut eye. It took another minute for him to finally open his eyes fully, blue eyes looking around the room for Magnus until he smelled fresh coffee and immediately knew where the other was. "You know you don't have to keep making coffee only for me. It mostly goes to waste."

"Yeah and what, you're going to go home to drink it?" Magnus countered, walking back into the living room now that the coffee is set. "Just don't worry about it."

Alec sighed at the words he heard way too many times from the other. "I just don't want to be a bother."

"You're not." Magnus didn't even skip a beat before saying it, one hand moving to the others arm as recurrence before he quickly pulled it back because of the wince it got from the black haired boy. "You did it again didn't you!" The voice that was soft before was accusing now. Accusing and angry, leaving the other covering under his hard gaze in shame.

Gold and green eyes opened, waking up from a dream he doesn't remember. He had a feeling he should remember though, something tugging at the back of his mind but everything was too blurry to make sense of and just like every other time he gave up. It can't be that important after all. It's just a dream. There was one thing he couldn't forget though. One thing that was in his mind after every dream like this. One thing that keeps following him everywhere.

Eyes blue as the sea and bright as the sun.

That's something he can't ever forget. The eyes that haunt him all his life.

Something moved next to the boy and he looked to his right, only to see blond hair peaking from out of the covers. Well it seems he had fun yesterday. It's kind of sad he doesn't remember what with all that he had to drink yesterday at the party and a headache that was killing him right now. But he doesn't care anyway. Whoever is sleeping next to him is just another nameless person in a row of many. And just like with the others it's time to get rid of her.

Magnus threw the covers off of himself and stood up, getting dressed quickly so he doesn't wake her up by accident, he doesn't feel like talking at the moment. So he just got dressed and walked out without even a second look towards the girl still in his bed. And as he walked out of his own apartment, leaving it unlocked, he just wished she will get the hint and leave before he comes back. Some haven't before and he really really doesn't feel like having that awkward conversation at the moment. Not with the headache he's having. It must have been an awesome party yesterday.

The sun was too bright and the cars around him too loud as he walked through the streets towards the nearest café to get at least some of his senses back, but the blue eyes were still in his mind. Such beautiful blue he has never seen outside of the dreams. Sometimes he wishes he could remember the dreams. All the feelings of comfort and even alert and sadness he sometimes feel after waking up make him want to know more than just the blue eyes. However he never can. He never could and it doesn't seem he ever will.

Opening the door of the café Magnus tryed to focus on his surroundings more so he doesn't accidentally run into someone or something. It was just his luck that he ended up doing just that though. The door hitting the person who was just getting out and sending them to the floor.

"Ow." A voice came from the boy now on the floor. A boy who was rubbing his back as his black hair fell over his eyes.

"I'm sorry." Magnus apologized immediately, something he doesn't do that often, but feeling taken by the boy the second he laid his eyes on him. There was just something about the slim body and pale skin of him that pulled the red haired one in. And then the boy looked up and he could barely hold in a gasp. The eyes, they were blue As blue as the sea and as bright as the sun. Such a perfect blue, just like in his dreams. It left him staring.

"Don't worry I'm fine." The boy in front of him said, black hair falling over his blue eyes as he stood back up with Magnus's help.

Hearing the words though made a shiver run down the other's spine. And not a good kind either. He never liked the word fine. It always made his blood run cold and hearing it come from the beautiful boy's lips was somehow even worse than usual.

Magnus didn't know why but he also didn't like it one bit.

He had to fight down the urge to tell the boy to never say that again because that would be weird. So instead he ended up asking something even he didn't expect will fall from his lips. "It's not. Come I'll buy you a coffee to make it up."

Magnus Bane doesn't date. He doesn't ask people out or buys them coffees but he seems to be doing just that.

The other seemed as taken aback by the words as Magnus was. He didn't expect that but Magnus wasn't taking the words back. He found himself not wanting to so he stood his ground and waited for the other to move first, hoping he won't say no because he was already so intrigued by the blue eyed boy. Something he never was with any other person.

"That's-That's not necessary. I'm really fine." There it was again. That word. The green eyed boy flinched at hearing it the second time.

"Nonsense. You're not a bother." He had no idea why he said that but he somehow felt like he needed to. Still at the shocked face of the other when he did he quickly continued, hoping to make it better. "I'm Magnus by the way. And you are?" That was safe right? Asking for the boys name was safe.

"Alec." The slightly shorter one answered, blue eyes confused, and Magnus grinned. His headache and anything else long forgotten now.

"Well it's nice to meet you Alec. Will you allow me to buy you a cup of coffee?" He asked again.

"I-Sure?" Alec was still a bit shocked at all of this. He's not used to people buying him cups of coffee. Or even being nice to him really so this was new but he still said yes. Something about the other just seemed…familiar. Maybe it was the red of his hair. He always dreamt of red. Blurry dreams but there was always something red. Or maybe it was because of the smile Magnus currently had. It seemed so familiar it hurt. So he said yes and followed the other towards a free table. Pulling the long sleeves of his shirt as far down as they can go all the while so he can hide it. So he can hide his shameful secret.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_Was this good? I hope it was. I'll try updating this and everything else soon. For now please follow and leave a review maybe. I want to know what you guys think._


	2. Chapter 2

_Finally the next chapter is here. It's short but oh well. I hope you like it._

Black hair was rustled and covered with smudges of red, smudges long dried by now as the boy shook on his bed. Eyes filled with tears and breathing ragged as he fought of screams.

He wanted to scream and cry about how it isn't fair. Nothing is fair.

His family, his life. Nothing. Absolutely nothing is fair.

But he can't scream and he can't cry. This is all he can do. Just this. Just one more of the secrets he has to keep.

His heart pulsed as he watched red.

Vision blurred as red turned to black.

And then in his dreams there was red once again.

"I love you, you know that Alec? You're the best friend anyone can ever ask for." A green eyed boy spoke as he and his best friend lied down on his bed on a too hot summer afternoon.

The words were like a shred of glass tearing at the others heart, and yet he smiled. Answering with an 'I love you too' that he meant a whole lot more than the other.

And as he looked at the closed eyes of the one he loves all he could feel was sadness. Sadness that the other can't see it, but also sadness that he is too scared to say it how it is. To say that his I love you's don't mean the same as the ones of his best friend. He is too scared he will ruin their friendship if he tells him that he loves him in not that much of a platonic way.

He is just scared like he always is so he keeps his mouth shut. But then again when does he not?

"Why so quiet Alec?" A deep voice asked, making the other notice he has been staring.

Quickly averting his gaze the blue eyed one looked at the others arms instead. "It's nothing. I'm just tired."

"Well go to sleep then. I could use a nap too." Magnus smiled before closing his eyes once more, again not able to see the sadness in the eyes of his best friend.

Not that kind of tired; Alec thought, sighing inwardly but still closing his eyes all the same. Wishing for a better present. A one where Magnus would notice.

It was in a coffee shop that a blue eyed boy thought of red. He thought of red as he looked at the shirt a boy sitting opposite him. A boy that for some reason bought him coffee and was now smiling as he asked questions about him.

Why though? Why does he care about something so random and meaningless about what Alec's favorite color is?

He asked as much but all he got in return was a laugh. "I just do. Can't I just find you fascinating?"

"No one else ever did." The blue eyed one answered honestly as he was still very confused about all of this. Especially Magnus. He confuses him so much and he hasn't even known him for more than half an hour. Actually he can't even say that he does know the gold and green eyed boy.

"Well I do. I find you very fascinating Alec." And again with a smile. It was such a big and just delighted smile that Alec has never seen before.

But honestly he found himself liking it. Liking the smile that was seemingly just for him. It was nice to pretend that it was.

They found themselves drifting in silence for a few minutes after that. A surprisingly comfortable silence as the two of them drank their respected coffees before Alec decided to speak again, his eyes glancing at the others shirt again as he did. "Red. My favorite color is red. Yours?"

The question was timid seeing as he was still in disbelief that all of this is actually happening but it still left the Magnus answering happily. "It's blue. That's why I love your eyes."

Said eyes were cast downwards at hearing the sentence but still a small smile found itself of Alec's lips. "Thanks. He felt like a lovesick teenage girl as he said it, liking how the other kept glancing at his eyes as they spoke and how his name felt said in Magnus's deep voice.

There was just something about the other that made him want to talk, he somehow felt…well not safe but warm. And even though it made no sense at all Alec just liked how the other made him actually want to stay and talk, get to know him more.

He felt drawn and he didn't know why, but at the moment he also couldn't care less.

And somehow they did, they kept talking for hours more in that coffee shop. Getting to know one another even as they both felt like they already do. The whole time though there was this feeling, a feeling like they forgot something important. Something important about the red and the blue.

But that something important was out of reach too.

So even as Magnus walked Alec home hours later since he lived close neither still knew what they were missing, but both also didn't care as they continued talking.

Talking about everything and nothing at all.

And so somewhere between Magnus saying that he has a cat that he adores and Alec admitting he has a knife collection, not saying what for of course, warm fingers wrapped around a pail wrist, making the blue eyed one stop with him, and Magnus's lips descended on Alec's for a short but sweet kiss that made blue eyes widen before he let go.

Magnus doesn't do dates or buys coffee, but it seems that for Alec he does as he gave the other his number and left after leaving one more kiss on those lips he has been watching the whole day. The lips he wanted to kiss so bad. Lips that kissed him back this time around.

It was with a smile and a quick 'Bye' that the green eyed boy walked away, and it was also with a smile that the blue eyed one walked up the stairs to his apartment because this all doesn't feel real but it is.

Magnus bought him coffee, and he kissed him so he likes him. Magnus likes him and Alec couldn't remember the last time he was so happy. And yet he was happy for a boy he only just met. A boy who for some reason seems to care.

Why? He still doesn't know. But he wants to find out and maybe he will. Maybe he lets himself find out.

That was the first night in so long that Alec actually went straight to bed after the shower.

The same couldn't be said about the next night though. A kiss can't make everything better after all. But oh how he wished it could.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_Hope you liked this and I didn't mess it up. Please leave a review with your thought because you all know I just love those. I'll try updating soon and not leave you waiting again like this time._

_So review my lovelies._


	3. Chapter 3

_Aaaand chapter three. Really hope you'll like this. It's slightly longer than the others. Also I'm sorry for not posting anything the past week but school started again and it's my senior year and I swear it's already too much. But okay. So here ya go. Hope you liked it._

A week. That's how long ago he has seen Alec.

It's been a whole week since the green eyed boy gave the other his number and he hasn't called.

Yet in all that time Magnus didn't even try to pick up anyone in a bar, or on a party he was in two days ago. He hasn't because blue eyes just won't get out of his head. Not now that he has seen the eyes he has been dreaming of for real.

The hazy dreams that were there every night now.

They aren't as hazy anymore though, because Magnus is sure he saw Alec in those dreams more than once these past few days.

But that's all he can remember still. Just the blue eyes and Alec with his blue eyes and slightly muscled body. Lips he's eager to kiss again and a body he can't help but want to touch all over.

So many things he wants to do if only Alec calls.

However, Magnus knows he should give up on hope already because it has been too long without even a text so what are the chances the blue eyed boy will actually call him. Really there are none anymore.

He knows he shouldn't have came on so strong, he probably spooked the other but Magnus just couldn't help himself.

There is just something about Alec, something that makes Magnus want to pamper him with kisses just to see the same wide eyed expression he did when he kissed him and tell stupid jokes just to make Alec laugh because he loves the sound even though he only got to hear it twice.

He definitely can't get the cringle of Alec's eyes as he smiles out of his head either. Magnus just can't stop thinking about him at all.

The boy hasn't felt like this in a really long time. And even then he's not sure if it was ever like this. The attraction so strong.

So really Magnus can't help but wait even though he knows there is probably no point. Just like he couldn't help but kiss Alec that day.

Little did Magnus know that in an apartment three blocks down the boy he couldn't get off of his mind can't stop thinking about him either. Contemplating if he should dial the number newly saved in his phone or not.

What if he only gave Alec his number out of pity and never wanted him to call at all? Because really what other reason is there. He is just too plain and messed up for anyone to like. Let alone someone as good looking as Magnus. He could never actually like Alec.

Could he? Surely not.

He knew there is no way but still the blue eyed boy can't stop thinking about the kiss he definitely didn't expect to receive. And now every night as he watches the blood flow down his arm he can't help but remember him.

Remember the boy who bought him coffee for no reason at all and then talked. Just talked to Alec like no one else has in so long.

Maybe he should call; the boy thought as he held onto his phone tight while sitting on the couch in an apartment that feels so lonely. Too lonely. Maybe he should call just…just to make sure. Yes that's what he should do.

Maybe if he hears the rejection he will finally be able to stop thinking of the other and go back to his normal and lonely life.

It was with that thought that Alec finally dialed the number. Regretting it right after.

He made himself not hang up though. Eyes focused on a stain located on the wall behind the TV and a little bit under the ceiling. All the while a mantra of 'don't pick up' repeating in his head.

No point in the end though, because it was only four rings in that there was a click and a deep voice reaching Alec's ears. "Hello."

Hearing the voice he recalled all too well made the blue eyed boy freeze, mind a complete blank.

"Anyone there?" The voice spoke again and this time Alec made himself talk because otherwise he needs to call again and he's not sure he can do that.

"Umm it-it's Alec. From the other day…" the words were said awkwardly as Alec's heart raced and thoughts went to 'what if he doesn't even remember me?'

"Oh. Alec you called." From the tone the nervous boy couldn't figure out if Magnus was surprised in a good or a bad way. It was probably the bad though so Alec was fast to stumble out an apology.

"I'm sorry. You probably gave me your number out of pity right? I knew I shouldn't have called." The last bit was more to himself then the other as Alec went to end the call. Only to be stopped by a quick and rather loud 'no'. Hearing it made the boy stop and bring the phone back to his ear in confusion.

"Don't hang up! Are you still there?" Magnus asked, slight desperation reaching even Alec's ear. But why?

He had half a mind to end the call still but he didn't, and instead let out a quiet 'yea' in return. He could hear the other sigh when he did. Was it a sigh of relief?

"Good. I'm glad you called. And I didn't give you my number out of pity or anything. I really like you Alec. And I would like to see you again." Magnus's words took Alec by surprise. Does he really mean it? But he could hear the honesty in that deep voice so he must really mean it. The mere thought made a small smile appear on his lips, but as he didn't say anything Magnus interrupted his silence in another way. Making him add tentatively. "If you want to that is."

"I wanna see you too." Alec's voice was soft and quiet but Magnus still caught it. Something not a lot of people bother to do.

"Good." Alec could almost imagine the grin on the others face. It made his smile widen as he slowly relaxed into the couch while listening to the others voice speak through the phone. It wasn't the same as when you hear it in person but it still made chills run down the boys spine. "Do you want to go out with me tomorrow? For lunch or dinner?"

"Lunch sounds nice. I would love that."

"See you then."

"See you." Alec ended the call with a big smile still on his lips.

"_Alexander open the door! Alec!" The pounding wouldn't stop as a black haired boy pressed himself against the white tiled bathroom wall, watching the door with wide tears filled eyes. Knowing he should open it but also not wanting to. He just doesn't want to see Magnus look at him with disappointment again._

_Alec hates the feeling it gets him so no, he's not opening the door._

"_Alec please. At least let me see. Please." The boys gaze fell down onto his arms as the pounding continued. Seeing the hateful scars framed by purple at how deep it once was. Purple he hates. He hates what it represents. _

_His weakness._

_Because he made all those scars, he made every one of them with a blade and tears in his eyes. They show how weak he is and he hates it. _

_He hates them as much as he hates other purple splotches on his skin. Ones he didn't make. Ones that resemble fingers that made them. Purple bruises his own father made that pushed him do the cuts in the first place._

_And now he hates purple the most. Because it shows everything he hates. The scars and the bruises he would rather not have but does. He hates it all._

_Now Magnus knows though. His best friend, the one he secretly loves, he knows and Alec promised him he will stop. But he didn't stop. He can't stop. The fresh, still bleeding cuts show that perfectly. They stand out on his pale shin, mocking him. Showing how weak he is._

_So weak. He is so so weak._

"_Alec please."_

"_Go away Magnus, I'm fine." His voice was shaky as he spoke and the words were so false he would have laughed if he could but still he tried. _

"_No. No, you're not. Please let me help. I want to help you. So let me. Please."_

_It was silent after that. Neither of them moving as they waited. And then Alec made a step forward._

Alec waited in front of the came coffee shop he met the other, waited because he came there too soon from how excided he is to see Magnus again.

But the fact that he came so fast made him able to think. Think what if's he would rather not. What if Magnus was just messing with him? What if he doesn't show? What if Magnus is just laughing at him right now, at how stupid he is? And every what if made his heart clench because he doesn't want any of them to be true. But still. What if?

He was so lost in thought, eyes focused on the ground below, that he didn't notice a boy walking towards him with a smile on his face because finally, finally he can see the other after a week. He can see the one he can't stop dreaming about.

However, when Magnus put a hand on his shoulder Alec was startled out of his thoughts, and it only took his eyes meeting the warm brown ones for all the bad feelings building up to disappear.

"Hey." Magnus spoke first.

"Hi."

And just like that there was a smile on Alec's lips once again.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_Two, three more chapters I think. Hope you liked this and please leave a review below with your thoughts. I'll try updating soon._

_So please review my lovelies._


	4. Chapter 4

_Here is an update! I'm sorry it took a while and it's short but I hope you'll like it._

The day was warm and grass green, birds sang while a light breeze blew over the park and the people walking about. Some enjoying a day with a walk or a picnic, a day out. And some hurrying to get somewhere, work or home.

For a blue eyed boy currently lying down on the grass and enjoying the breeze making his hot skin a little bit cooler under long sleeves it was a lazy day. A lazy day to spend with his boyfriend of two weeks.

Yes, boyfriend. He is still surprised too. The mere chance that someone will be willing to care about him something new and strange, but nice all in all. So nice.

At least until he finds out about the black haired boys little secret, then he will surely leave. But for now, Alec is just happy to have Magnus for even a little bit.

He was getting too attached though, and he knew it. The soft kisses and touches, loving glances… It all made him happy but also sad, because it won't last that long. Not with Magnus getting curious to why Alec keeps wearing long sleeved shirts with summer just around the corner.

So yea he will find out soon. And then he will be disgusted and leave.

Leaving Alec alone once again.

The mere thought of it hurt though, it hurt so much as he pulled the shirt sleeves as low as possible so that it was now covering his palms too. Not liking what is hiding underneath all the clothes, not liking what he's done to himself. But also knowing that he can't stop. Not any time soon and not ever.

Magnus makes it better though, he makes him forget about the pain and how much of a failure he really is. He makes him forget for even just a little bit. And some days just a little bit is what is needed for the white sheets to stay white. But the others, it hurts too bad and his mind just won't stop…Those days nothing can stop the red.

"What are you thinking about?" The voice was deep as the one next to him stared, stared at Alec with that fond look on his face and soft eyes that were showing so much love.

He doesn't deserve any of it though. He doesn't deserve Magnus.

The thought made his chest hurt and a lump form in the boy's throat but he pushed it all down, answering the question with 'Nothing' because Magnus doesn't need to know.

"If you say so darling." Magnus moved closer and pressed his lips to the others cheek softly. The small kiss making Alec's cheeks turn red for a second there because the lips stayed on his skin longer then necessary. He didn't mind though. He never does. "You'll tell me where your mind always wonders off to one day."

The whisper was supposed to be soft and comforting but all it did is make Alec's blood turn cold. No, no he will not. Magnus doesn't have to know. He will not know.

"Yea" He whispered anyway, eyes cast down and avoiding the others eyes in guilt at what he did yesterday. He's sure he will need stitches again for this one because the blood still hasn't stopped and it still hurts so much when he moves. It hurts so wonderfully.

But Magnus wouldn't think that. All he would feel if he ever saw is disgust. Just like his parents did. Like everyone always does. There is nothing else he can feel really. Nothing else for Baekyhun then being that disgusting boy who only feels like he can breathe when there is a blade in his hand and sliding over his skin.

His memories from yesterday were cut short with a hand tilting up his head and lips descending softly onto his own. Making Alec's mind go blank like always as he kisses back. Loving the feeling of the others lips on his own and the taste of chocolate on his tongue. Because as he found out after being with Magnus he loves chocolate.

And with that, Alec loves it now too.

He just wishes he won't have to let go of it any time soon. Just a little bit more; he thought like he always does. Just a little bit more and I'll be ready to let him go.

But he never does. Because with every kiss there is a wish of just a little bit more as Magnus slowly but surely wiggles into his heart and makes himself at home.

Just a little bit more…

And I'll never be able to let you go.

…

"_Will you stop?" A green eyed boy asked into the silence as him and his best friend lied together on his bed, just enjoying each other's company with no words needed to be said. At least on Alec's part that is. _

"_I don't know." The blue eyes boy answered truthfully, his eyes no longer having that spark like they always did. No, they were cold now. As dead as his heart because every day he has to come home to his parents fighting. Fighting about him and then blaming him for everything. Yelling how he's a disappointment and how not liking girls is just a phase._

_There is nothing to be happy about really. Not when the only way for him to feel even a little bit better he has to reach for that one blade standing out on his bedside table, press it hard against the once flawless skin…and pull._

_So no, he doesn't know f he will able to able to stop. Because that might as well mean for him to stop breathing. _

"_For me?" Magnus was desperate, not liking what he's best friend is turning into at all. Not wanting him to. Not now and not ever. He wants his happy go lucky best friend back. _

_He just wants Alexander to be better._

"_I don't know." Alec answered again, turning his head a little now so he can see the worried gold and green eyes staring at him. Staring so lovingly it hurts because it's not the love he wants to see there. It's not the love like his own. But that's okay. It's fine. Just like everything else is too. Just fine. "I can try." The whisper was tentative and Alec didn't believe his own words for even a second._

_But it made Magnus grin happily like he hasn't in a while now, so it made Alec smile too. Just for a second he smiled and everything was good._

_Nothing is good though; he thought as his heart kept breaking with every glance towards his best friend._

_Nothing is good but everything is fine._

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_Sorry for the long wait and the shortness of this but I hope you liked it and will leave a review with your thoughts._

_Also SOMEONE PLEASE SOMEHOW MAKE ME MOTIVATED TO WRITE ALL FALL DOWN! Seriously though, the next chapter is awesome but I just can't make myself start writing it, so please?_

_Anyway, review my lovelies._


	5. Chapter 5

_Really sorry for the wait! And R here you go. Seriously no one has ever made me write something so fast so the fact that you did is really an accomplishment. So I hope you like this. All of you._

…

_Magnus woke up to movement next to him. Head pounding and mind blurry, but not enough to not notice the pale shoulder that was located right in front of him. A shoulder that was too familiar by now even if it was shaking at the moment and making everything even more blurry then it already was._

_Fuck, he should really stop drinking._

"_Oh God I'm so sorry." The green eyed boy said as his brain managed to work enough to notice that 'yes' this is Alec in front of him. Once again his best friend is who he wakes up to after getting drunk._

_However, the words were slurred and mind not awake enough to notice that the little chocked sounds weren't from the nonexistent rain but from the boy in front of him._

_Maybe if he was sober he would have noticed that Alec was crying. But that was not the case._

_So Magnus just continued throwing slurred apologies at the boy. Moving to hug him in hope to show that he really means it, but in reality it only made it worse. _

"_I'm sorry. Very sorry Alec. Never gonna happen again. I promise. This time for sure. I'll get a girlfriend or something. I'll stop. I will."_

_The other could only continue crying at the words with a heavy heart. Not that Magnus noticed. _

"_It's fine." Alec choked out. "It's fine." It's always fine._

_After a while Magnus fell asleep like always. _

_But Alec didn't. _

_He couldn't. _

_He never could._

…

_Next time Magnus woke up he was alone and the sheets next to him were rustled but cold._

_No Alec in sight._

_Alec…_

_He keeps doing this to Alec, to his best friend. He keeps using him and it makes the green eyed boy feel like shit every time. Yet he can't stop himself._

_Why does Alec let him though? Every time. Why doesn't Alec stop him?_

_As expected the apartment was empty when Magnus got up. _

_As expected Alec didn't come back until much later in the day. _

_As expected neither talked about what happened the night before._

_As expected…_

_It happened again._

…

Magnus met Alec a month ago.

A month that the green eyed boy smiled more than he ever has before because Alec's laugh is more beautiful than the song of any bird, and the press of soft lips against his own makes Magnus's heart do a funny thing in his chest.

Alec was making Magnus be happy for the first time in his life by just being there. And the more time they spent together the more the taller feels like he has known the other all his life.

Still, even through all the happiness and laughter there is something looming over Magnus like a dark cloud heavy with rain, because the dreams are getting more frequent.

Dreams that Magnus is starting to remember more often, and it only makes him frown because there is always red in the dreams. Red mixed with Alec. Always Alec.

He remembers Alec.

But with that he also remembers the harsh words his dream self says to the boy. Making him feel guilty even though he knows he would never say or do any of those things. He would never use Alec like that because the boy is just too precious to ever use in that or any way.

Magnus still feels the guilt when he wakes up though.

The broken look in those blue eyes haunts him even when he sees them alight with pure happiness as Magnus makes him laugh.

Something the green eyed boy does even more than usual on the days he wakes up with memories of red.

He doesn't remember why red, Magnus never remembers that, but the heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach is an indication enough that the red is not good. It's never good.

So he makes Alec laugh and showers him with kisses because those are the times when he can see how happy his boyfriend is. How happy he makes him be. It's something Magnus is really proud of. Making Alec happy.

Still though there are the times when said boy keeps silent with his eyes cast down, avoiding the tellers gaze even though he says he's not. Those times are when Magnus starts thinking if he's really making Alec happy or if he is just imagining it.

Magnus was never actually in a relationship after all. Maybe Alec finds his jokes stupid and only laughs out of politeness. Maybe he doesn't like Magnus as much as he likes Alec. Maybe.

But then there is that smile again and the green eyed boy forgets about it. Pushes the dark thoughts aside and just enjoys being with the other.

However, there are just so many times you can put something aside.

And Magnus is slowly but surely nearing his limit.

…

"What are we watching?" Alec asked excitedly as he plopped down on the couch in Magnus's apartment. He latter could only laugh at the cute way he did it as he moved to turn on the movie.

It was one of those days that you just can't think of anything to do so Magnus decided that calling Alec over for a movie night was a good way to go.

And by the way said boy leaned onto him as he sat down on the couch too was showing just how right he was.

The green eyed boy really loves when Alec is like that. Loves the closeness.

In all honesty it's the closest they ever got.

Even though the two have been dating for over a month they didn't go any further then kissing and cuddling. Alec always stopped it before it went any further and Magnus wasn't pushing either. He doesn't want to push Alec into something he doesn't want to after all.

It's not that he doesn't feel frustrated, because he does, but Magnus knows that he could never push no matter how frustrated. He will never.

So he cuddles close to Alec and kisses the top of his head with a small smile as the movie starts. It is all that's needed for now.

However as Magnus pulled the boy close, without either noticing, he also pulled Alec's shirt up a bit. Just enough to revile pale skin to the taller's line of sight. And what he saw at the side of Alec's body made him freeze.

There were lines.

White lines. Lighter then the already pale skin and standing against it like a rip in the canvas.

A rip followed by many more.

Seeing it made Magnus's heart sink because he knew what those were even though he wished he hadn't.

He could also only guess how many more scars could be. And the guess wasn't a nice one.

Noticing that Magnus is abnormally stiff Alec shifted slightly. "Magnus?"

Looking up their eyes met, and Alec's blood ran cold at the sudden touch of fingers on the bare skin of his hip.

No!

_Did you like it? What do you think?_

_Not my best work honesty and I'm not very happy with it either, but hey it's something. I didn't want to make you wait any longer. _

_So once again I hope you liked it. _

_You all know I'm in no way sorry for the cliffy. _

_And please leave a review below._

_Until next time…_


	6. Chapter 6

_Hi guys! I'm back with an update! Sorry it took a while. Again. Actually you can thank R that I updated now at all. (I know it doesn't seem like it but you're helping so thanks) Anyway here you go!_

_The front door hit the wall as it opened, the bang echoing through the too quiet apartment._

_Magnus didn't even hear the sound though as he saw red. All he could see was red. His own heart seemingly stopping for a second as he registered what he was seeing. Finally unfreezing from where he was standing at the still open doorway and running towards his best friend._

_Towards Alec, who was lying motionless on their red carpet._

_Except they don't have a red carpet. They never had one._

…

_Dead._

_That one word just keeps echoing in Magnus's mind with every new day._

_He feels like throwing up and his head hurts and everything is a daze. Magnus feels sick and he wants to call his best friend more than anything in the world but he can't._

_The boy won't be able to do that ever again because Alec is dead. His best friend is dead and he didn't even know he started cutting again._

_He didn't know anything._

_How could he not notice? How could he let this happen? How…How is he supposed to continue with his life when there is no Alec. It's not possible. He can't imagine living without Alec but he has no choice now._

_The other took away his choice away the second he took away his own life. _

_And Magnus didn't even notice something is wrong._

_He should have noticed. He should have stopped him. He should have done so many things. But it's too late now._

_It's all wrong now. Without Alec the world is just wrong._

…

_It took Magnus weeks to be able to step foot into their apartment again. But no it wasn't theirs anymore. It's his. Only his. Because there is no more Alec to make it theirs._

_In those weeks he hasn't slept throughout even one night but at least he could breathe without his whole body hurting. He could stand on his own two feet. But it wasn't the same anymore. Without Alec it just wasn't. Without Alec he couldn't imagine living. He can't imagine the world without Alec but now suddenly he has to live in it. It wasn't fair. It wasn't normal. It wasn't right. It didn't feel real. Nothing felt real anymore._

_However, this time as he walked inside feeling like a ghost, and his footsteps echoed through the apartment he saw a bit of white from the corner of his eye. And as he looked closer Magnus saw it was a folded piece of paper on the coffee table, right next to the still red carpet that made his eyes fill with tears as he noticed it._

_Still he took a few deep breaths and took the blood stained paper with shaking hands._

_Opening it, there were only two words written. But they brought the red haired boy to his knees._

_Only two words and it was hard to breathe again._

**_I'm fine._**

_He thought he knew heartbreak but it was never like this. It had nothing on this. This was heartbreak. This was dying. And worse than anything, Alec wasn't there to fix it. Alec wasn't there to make it better. Alec will never be there to make it better again._

_That was when it all finally clicked and it made everything so much worse. So much more painful. He loved Alec. He always loved Alec but was too afraid to see it. But now he did. He remembered all the years. All the wasted time he will never get back. All the time waiting for him he will never have with Alec. All the time Alec will never have._

_His chest hurt and it was hard to breathe but the tears still continued streaming down Magnus's face as he clenched a piece of paper to his heart like his life depended on it._

_Because for the first time he felt as Alec has been feeling almost all his life._

_Dead, hurt, broken…_

_No more blue and no more smiles, because when Alec took his own life unknowingly he took Magnus's too._

_And now everything is gray. All the color is gone._

…

"Alec please come out! Please!" Magnus banged on the bedroom door with all his might, trying to get the other one out.

It's been hours since Alec locked himself in there. Something he did the second he noticed what Magnus saw.

And he hasn't stopped shaking in the corner since.

"Go away! I don't want to see the look. Not from you. I don't want it!" Alec yelled back, not even thinking of moving. He can't handle to see the disgust and disappointment again. Most definitely not from Magnus. Not from the only person he let in after so long.

He should have ran away while he still could. Before he fell so hard.

He should have listened to himself.

Too late now though.

All he can do now is wait for Magnus to give up so he can go home. Run away just like he was supposed to all along.

This was all too good to be true. He should have known better. He doesn't deserve happiness. Doesn't deserve someone as caring as Magnus.

The skin of Alec's palm broke under his nails and blood trickled forth.

But it wasn't enough. He needs more.

"I'm fine. Go away."

"No! Please don't say that! Never say that!" Magnus was nearing hysteria. Fine is not good. Fine makes his blood run cold.

Alec can't be fine. He won't allow it. He will make sure he never feels fine again.

…

"_Promise me." The green eyed boy spoke the words for what seemed was the thousandth time._

_And Alec understood what he wants right away. If only he could give him the answer he wants without it being a lie. If only…_

"_I promise." _

_I promise you will be in my heart until the end._

…

_As the blade sliced through pale skin like butter Alec fulfilled his silent promise. _

_He didn't let go of Magnus, until the very end._

_Until everything went black._

_Did you like it? What do you think?_

_It may not be the best but it's an update. And as you can see it's mostly the past. Which means that the next chapter is only focusing on the present. And it's also the last chapter so look forward to that._

_Anyway I hope you liked and please leave a review below._

_Thanks for reading!_

_Until next time my lovelies._


	7. Chapter 7

_Hiiiii guys!_

_I'm so sorry this took so long but I'm finally updating. It's not my best work but I hope you like it anyway. Happy reading!_

"Alexander, please let me in! I want to help you!" Magnus yelled from behind the door, but the other had no intention in complying.

"You can't help me." Alec spoke through the tears as he looked around for anything sharp enough.

He just wants something to take the pain away. Something. Anything to make him forget any of this is happening.

Magnus knows...

The mere thought made the boy's chest hurt and suddenly it was hard to breathe.

Magnus knows and he will look at him with disgust just like everyone else. No more smiles. No more anything.

He knew his happiness won't last long. Knew Magnus will find out and dump him. He knew. Yet he hoped it won't be this soon.

He wanted more time.

He needed more time.

Or maybe he should have had less time. Maybe then he wouldn't care this much.

"I can at least try." Magnus's voice was a bit quieter now.

The change made the other stop his search for a second. He never heard Magnus sound so small. So desperate.

Why does he sound like that?

"I can't say that I know what you are going through," The other continued. "Nor that I can fix everything and erase the past. But I'm here. I want to be there for you. Help you. You're not alone anymore because I'm not going anywhere."

"Everyone leaves." Alec choked out, chest still feeling tight.

"I won't."

"I'm fine."

"I want to see you happy; not fine. Fine is not a good thing to be."

"You're lying."

"When have I ever lied to you darling?"

There were a few minutes of silence as they both stared at the door before Magnus spoke once more.

Spoke the last words that the blue eyed boy expected to hear.

"I love you." It was a whisper, but one with a tone of honesty to it. "I know you may not believe me. But I will make you see it one day. Even if it takes me years."

"You can't. You don't" Alec argued, seeing only a blur from all the tears and not believing even one word coming out of Magnus's mouth. None if it is true.

It can't be true.

"I do though."

"I'm broken." He argued, staring at all the scars on his arms; hating every single one of them.

"You're perfect."

"You don't mean it."

"But I do." And he did. Magnus meant every word he said. He just hoped he'll be able to make Alec believe it one day.

A click echoed in the quiet apartment.

Magnus let out a sigh of relief as the door opened just a crack.

It was enough.

A crack was enough for now.

…

A boy screamed as he woke up from dreams of red. Red and purple and black.

He woke up to see…yellow?

The blue eyed boy felt confused as he stared at walls painted brightly yellow.

Until he woke up enough to remember that this is his bedroom that is.

Their bedroom.

This big yellow mess is where he wakes up every morning. He has been waking up here for two years now.

"You okay darling?" A sleep slurred voice asked from beside the boy.

Alec turned to look at his newly blond boyfriend and couldn't help but smile at seeing his hair like that. He doesn't think he'll ever get used to it.

But it does suit the other well.

"Not really. But I will be." The dream still shook him no matter the smile that was still on his face.

He hasn't had one in a few weeks after all.

But Magnus is very insistent on him rather saying it how it is rather then saying he's fine. Especially since the last time that he did and ended up relapsing.

That was actually when Magnus started turning everything yellow.

As he said it, it's good for Baekhyun to see something bright and happy after a nightmare or a rough day. Something to make him smile if nothing else.

It was weird.

But Alec appreciated it.

First it started with the bedroom walls, than the blue eyed boy came home one day to find a huge yellow carpet in the living room.

Actually even the first short sleeved shirt the other ever bought him was yellow too.

He even went as far as to come home one day with a yellow, actually orange, kitten. Naming it Sunshine and saying that he got it for Alec, because he needs more sunshine in his life.

Said boy would argue that he had sunshine in his life from the second he met Magnus.

Because it's true.

He doesn't know what he did to deserve having someone who loves him as much as Magnus does. And years ago he would say that he doesn't. He doesn't deserve love.

But the other reassured him that he does. That he's strong. And that his scars didn't come from weakness but they are battle scars instead. From a war that he won.

Mostly.

He still has moments of weakness and thoughts that he would like to keep in the past. But he's not alone anymore.

He has Magnus, and Sunshine and yellow.

Red no longer accompanies him everywhere.

It's yellow now.

And yellow makes him smile.

Magnus was very much committed in turning everything yellow. Even his own hair.

Honestly though the first thing that Alec did when the other walked up to him with the new hairdo was laugh.

The other didn't seem to mind, but just smiled instead.

Everything was yellow now.

And Alec loved it.

"You haven't had a nightmare for a month." Magnus pointed out with a smile, drawing the other into his arms. Bare skin against bare skin.

To be honest the blue eyed one still flinched sometimes. Not wanting to let the other see his scars, let alone touch them.

But he fights it down. Refuses to pull away anymore.

Magnus doesn't care. He loves him, scars and all. And he never forgets to remind him of that.

"You're perfect." The blond mumbled against his neck. "I'm so proud of you. A month is our new record. I tell you; it's because of all the sex."

Alec couldn't help but laugh at the comment, pushing Magnus away as he did. "You're such an idiot."

"I love you though."

"I love you too."

It took a long time for Alec to be able to say it out loud. And he still feels happy every time he says it.

He's happy now and everything is yellow.

The nightmares are still there but so is Magnus.

Magnus with his big grins and blond hair.

Maybe Alec's favorite color is no longer red.

Maybe, just maybe, it's yellow now. Because the walls are yellow and so is the carpet.

But Magnus is yellow now too.

Everything is yellow.

And everything is

Good.

_Did you like it? Tell me what you think._

_Really hope you liked this and the whole story. I know it took a long time to finish but it's done now and I am sort of happy with it._

_Anyway, leave a review bellow with your thoughts because you know I aways love reading those._

_See you in All Fall Down, my lovelies._


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